December 18, 2012

Occupied Mind.

Dear You

I have fallen for you since day 1. since the moment I saw you sitting there.
since the moment I saw your face and looked into your eyes. don't mind my cold stares at you, that was just me being nervous. up still now, i don't know what exactly made me fall so hard for you at the first sight.. it is your face, or your gesture, or whatever. I have no idea and you have no idea how dearly I love you, even until now. it feels like no one can ever love you as much as I do.

I know it's so wrong having you in my heart and mind for now, but truthfully it's very hard to get rid of you. I wonder why am I still not over you? Maybe I have just loved you too long? It's been 1 year and 4 months. it's been been that long since you've occupied my mind. is it just a silly crush or am I delusional, I don't know. I know I can't have you, I'm just not meant to be with you.
friends.. that's the maximum relationship we're gonna have. it's so sad to know that you're a very important to me, yet I'm not as important to you. yet, I still put you on top of my list, it's like even if I saved your life, you're still gonna see me.

What I'm sure of, is I love everything about you, your charming smile, that eyes of yours, your bad habits, your good traits and bad traits. I love them all. I love the whole of ya.

I got happy when you first talked to me, even when it was about a really stupid thing. I felt like I was in cloud 9 when you took the same bus with me. I felt butterflies in my stomach every time you sat beside me. I went home smiling from ear to ear every time I had close encounter with you, even if it was only for 5 seconds. you affected me so much even if you did small things.

My friend told me I'm crazy. they said that you're not a good guy, that even if we were together you'd hurt me. but the more I look at you, the more I ignore them. they asked how can I get hurt yet still love the person so much. sooner or later they'll get to experience that. but I hope they're not as stupid as me last time because I know how much it hurts to love someone quietly. 

People say that sometimes no matter how much you love someone, they just can't love you back in the same way. yes, it's very true indeed. it's very hard loving someone who doesn't love you back.

Now that I've got someone, I really hope I could lose this feeling, I feel so guilty yet I can't do anything about it. I'm a svcker for this kind of things. I hope you're happy, because that's what makes me happy too :) and I hope you'll always be my dear friend..

(Re-Post: Blackalogy)